Manic Depression

Published on 11 March 2023 at 22:20

Psalms 3

O LORD, I have so many enemies; so many are against me.  So many are saying, "God will never rescue him!"  But You, O Lord, are a shield around me; You are my glory, the One Who holds my head high.  I cried out to the Lord, and He answered me from His Holy mountain. I lay down and slept, yet I woke up in safety, for the LORD was watching over me.  I am not afraid of ten thousand enemies who surround me on every side.  Arise, O LORD! Rescue me, my God! Slap all my enemies in the face!  Shatter the teeth of the wicked!  Victory comes from You, O LORD.  May You bless Your people.


Manic Depression is the same as bipolar disorder.  Manic means according to the Merriam Webster Dictionary as: affected with, relating to, characterized by, or resulting from MANIA.  Mania is referred to as bipolar, the mood swings from high to low.  I tend to go low in my mania.  I deal with depression differently than most people.  Most people that have manic depression will sleep a lot, unable to get out bed, almost considered to be paralyzed.  Some people let it paralyze them either by choice, or sometimes they don't feel like they have a choice.  I make mine a choice.  I could either stay in bed all day, and not deal with anything, or I can get out of bed and deal with the day.  I've learned to be a functional manic-depressive person.  

I have had to work for the past forty plus years, and so I learned to live with my disorder.  It's been hard and has not been easy over the past years.  In the past few years, I have noticed that I have been zoning out, forgetting where I am at, forgetting what I am working on, and losing time when driving to work or home. So instead of letting it disable me, I have learned to live with the disability.  In a matter of fact, I became disabled, and instead of dealing with disability, I tried to ignore it in hopes it would go away.  I realized earlier this year; I could not ignore it anymore.  So, now I am going on disability.  

One of the effects that happen with depression is that it can cause dementia in people.  Some will say that is not true, but from what I have read, it does.  The sad part is dementia and Alzheimer's run in my family.  I have had two people in my family pass away with Alzheimer's.  Now I will be tested for both dementia and Alzheimer's.  Someday it feels like I cannot remember anything, and other days I am fine.  So, that is why I will be seeing my doctor. 

My psychiatrist and therapist put me on Seroquel which causes sleepiness, but it is a mood stabilizer.  So, when I take it, I pray to Jesus that the medicine that I take will do the job it was created for, and I will have no affects from the side effects.  Only Jesus can heal the mind, the brain, and the disorder that is caused by trauma in my life, and I know that one day I will be healed mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  So, if you struggle with mental health disease or disorders, remember you are not alone, all you have to do is trust in Jesus, He will help you through your valleys.

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